Love Monster


Reflections of a Black man
falling in love with a Japanese man

I began writing these reflections after each episode of The Boyfriend. Somewhere between watching and writing, I realized I wasn’t only witnessing their love stories, I was tracing my own.

In Love Monster, Chicago dancemaker and writer J'Sun Howard reflects on moments from The Boyfriend and the feelings they stirred in him. These writings are not meant as commentary on the individuals themselves, but as quiet observations about recognition, intimacy, and the unexpected ways love reveals itself.

There’s Nothing I want Now
Jason Howard Jason Howard

There’s Nothing I want Now

“No” can have so many meanings, but they all end up meaning yes. Coffee, chocolate—these small symbols of connection—remind me how fragile love can be. It’s so hard to hold all this love in one place.

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I Don’t Want This To End
Jason Howard Jason Howard

I Don’t Want This To End

We had just finished tonkatsu, and you walked me to the entrance of the subway. By then, tonkatsu had quietly become our goodbye tradition.

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