Accepting You No Matter What
under the blossoms
At the end of episode 9, Ikuo said he made a list of the reasons he liked Dai. Hearing him say that made me pause. I realized that, in my own way, I had been doing the same thing, collecting small moments that reminded me why I care about him. The list below isn’t everything, but it’s a few of the moments that stay with me.
These are just a few of them:
While viewing the cherry blossoms in Sumura Park, we found a semi-secluded spot. After making sure no one was watching, I kissed him beneath the blossoms — it’s supposed to bring love and good luck, so they say. He looked into my eyes and kissed me right back. Then we held hands as we walked down the steps together.
On New Year’s Day, we waited almost an hour in the crowd at Sumiyoshi Taisha before reaching the shrine. There were three places to pray, and when we finally arrived, I realized I didn’t have enough coins to make an offering. Without saying a word, he took out his wallet and handed me enough coins so I could pray too. It was such a small gesture, but it meant I could participate fully in something sacred to him.
He’s said and done so many funny things that I can’t even remember them all. Sometimes it’s the way he teases me, sometimes it’s the small comments he makes in passing that catch me completely off guard. I don’t always laugh right away; sometimes I’m still trying to understand what he meant, but a moment later it hits me, and I realize how funny he is.
In Dotonbori, he had just gotten a sweet crepe. Before we stopped to look at the moss-covered Buddha nearby, he took a bite and then held it up for me to try. I closed my eyes as he fed it to me and savored it. A family stood nearby taking pictures with their daughter, but for a moment, it felt like the whole street had gone quiet.
Every time I try to pay for us, he never acknowledges it or lets me. He simply pays. I know what I’ll do someday to return that generosity.
When he told me he had been promoted to an executive position at his job, he said he didn’t know why. I stayed quiet and just looked at him. He knows why.
We both agree that it doesn’t matter what we do as long as we’re spending time together.
After the Lantern Festival, spicy ramen, and just the two of us sitting and talking at Ōgimachi Park, it started getting late, so you walked me to Tenma Station. All that time we were chatting, I wanted to bring up something I had been thinking about: living in Japan permanently. At the gate, I didn’t know how to say it or ask how you would feel. I finally said that I wanted to live here. When I found the courage to ask what you thought, you said you would worry because I’d be so far away from my family.
I know they would worry too. But I also know they would be happy for my happiness because of you.
On the train to Sumiyoshi Taisha, you leaned over and whispered that you could tell the family sitting across from us wasn’t from Japan because of the way they had their kids sitting. I nodded because I noticed it too. Then we sat quietly for a moment. I leaned closer and asked if you ever wanted to have kids and a family. You said yes. I told you that you would be a good father. You shyly bowed your head, a little embarrassed, looking away before moving closer to me.
I would love to have a family with you.
One evening after dinner, we went for a walk, and you led us to the Nakanoshima Rose Garden. Young girls were taking selfies with the roses, a dance group was practicing choreography, and a runner joked that he couldn’t keep up with his group. We stopped to look out over the Okawa River. On the other side, a group of girls began singing. You told me they were singing Superfly’s Ai wo Komete Hanataba o. We listened for a moment, and when they finished, you began singing the song softly to me.
Please sing to me again, and more often.
The cherry blossoms at Kema Sakuranomiya Park were in full bloom on my birthday, and you took me there. At the end of our walk, you bought sweets for us to share, and we sat on the steps by the Okawa River. It was funny when you put the last whole cream puff into your mouth just as I said we should split it. I should have taken a bite anyway. Then, out of nowhere, you asked what my personality type was. You said yours was ENFJ. I laughed and said mine too. No wonder we understand each other so easily.
Though I still wanted that cream puff.